Life Is All About The Moments
by missdee1986
Summary: Series of moments between Charlie and Monroe, based on the idea that she saw the kiss from hell and has been fuming quietly for weeks. Their relationship changes forever when she finally confronts him. All the gang is here as we take a look at some important events in the lives of Charloe. Angst, fluff, lemons.. little bit of everything really.


**A/N - So my muse is messing me about, as is my health. This is a oneshot I scribbled out trying to get the writing juices flowing properly. It's probably a complete mess but I stuck it up so you guys would have _something _to read while I work out the next chapters for AOL & ILASOL. There's been zero editing so if it's total nonsense please don't flame me lol i'll make it up with the full length stories. It's an idea I had for a long fic but never got around to writing out properly. Let me know what you think and if any of you have figured out a way to blackmail a muse into co-operating I'd love to hear about it :( x  
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><p><em>There are some confessions that you can't even make to yourself - yearnings... desires.. That if you admitted to having, you'd have to stop being who you are. And the facade you've built so carefully would crumble, exposing to those around you what really makes you weak. <em>

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Monroe kissed her mom. He _kissed _ her mom. He kissed _her mom_.

Charlie paced back and forth outside their latest home. With the Patriots pretty much defeated they had finally settled somewhere for longer than a week. Everyone else seemed content, for now. All except Monroe. And her. The absolute shock of what she had witnessed happen between her mom and the ex-dictator had faded quickly. With all of the excitement of finding Miles and then the ensuing mustard gas chaos, she hadn't really been able to dwell on the whole disgusting incident too much.

But ever since things had calmed down a little her mind had begun assaulting her with slow-motion replays of it.

Right now there was no running, no action, no plotting or fighting to do. Tonight it was nothing but free time for all of them. Which was just fan-fucking-tastic in her book. She did _not_ need hours of time to go over all the ways she was angered by what she had seen. Or to dwell on the fact that watching Monroe grab her mother and plant one on her like that had caused her stomach to roll violently and hot, sharp tears to prick at her eyes.

What the hell was going on? If ever there were two people who despised each other it was them. Rachel's hypocrisy annoyed Monroe beyond all reason - and the way she nagged at Miles all the time and demanded all his attention grated on his last nerve...

Charlie knew this because she understood it, related to it even. And her mom looked at Monroe like he made her feel sick - like he was a poisonous snake who would do the world a favor if it slithered under a rock and died. Was that all an act? Her face scrunched up in bewilderment and she knew that if anyone looked out and caught a glimpse of her right now they'd want to know why she was acting like a crazy person. She really should calm down but kissing? Really?

The anger and sense of betrayal was at war within her. Added to her confusion. Was Monroe seriously into her mom? Maybe they were even together right now... neither of them were inside the house... Would they do that to Miles? She snorted to herself; yeah, they would. Both of them had done worse than cheat on someone - it's not like they hadn't screwed around on her uncle in one way or another before - Monroe got his girlfriend pregnant! And Rachel had married his brother!

They were both sick. Charlie was becoming angrier with them by the second and was about ready to explode. Monroe had been treating her like dirt since he had found her with Connor, yet he was hanging round her mother like a puppy dog... Hypocritical piece of shit! Maybe having that in common was what brought the two of them together.

She sank down, resting her back against the side of the house. Deep down she felt like a hurt, lost little girl. Seeing them like that had torn her insides up and the jealousy alone was slowly eating away at her, not that she was about to admit it, even to herself. Sorting through her feelings for Monroe was something she never intended on doing.

Screwing Connor had been a way for her to forget the one she really wanted, plus it had been a way of shoving his arrogance back in his face - a kind of payback for letting his ex treat her like a child; a message to let him know that she was _all _grown up. As soon as she'd done it though, she had felt disgusting. All the growing up she had done leading up to that one childish decision had been for nothing. It had been the most vindictive, immature thing she could have done. But to discover that the hurt look in Monroe's eyes after he found them like that hadn't been what she assumed...

Did he get pissed off because if Charlie and Connor got together that would keep him further from Rachel? Was the twisted bastard afraid his girlfriend would be upset with him for letting it happen? Her head was pounding with the sound of her own blood rushing through her ears. Charlie didn't know whether to scream or cry. How could Monroe do it, to Miles, to her?

And her mom... Never before, despite all she had done to cause her daughter pain, had Charlie felt the urge to really physically hurt her. Not until now. If she didn't get control of herself pretty soon there was a distinct possibility that she would end up punching her own mother's smug face in. Wasn't it enough that Rachel had taken Miles from her? That she constantly made her only daughter fully aware of how dense she believed her to be? Wasn't it enough that Rachel had spent years proving that just about everything else in the world was more important to her than her oldest child?

The one person - the one thing - Rachel Matheson should not have been able to take away from Charlie should have been _him_. Charlie and Monroe. Charlotte and Sebastian. Their relationship was messy and confused and layered with guilt and lust and anger and every possible emotion in between - but at least it had been one thing her mother had absolutely nothing to do with. Until now.

The worst part of it all, she told herself, was the knowledge that they were both low enough to get all hot and bothered with each other right when Miles needed them most. He could have been, _was_, lying somewhere dying at the time and those two had paused for a kissing break?! How callous could two people be?

Denial is a strange and powerful thing. Blind rage was only going to fuel hers for so long, which meant she clung to it all the harder. Harder than anything she had ever clung to before - except maybe her brother. Letting the hate for Monroe and her mother build and grow was keeping the sharp sting of emotion inside mostly under control. Because when she let go of the anger she would arrive at the pain, the hurt and stupid sense of rejection. She could live without it.

And if discovering that something was going on between the man she desperately tried to hate and the mother she desperately tried to love was going to be her first real, cutting heartbreak in this life - well, Charlie just didn't want to know. Or accept what it meant.

She had loved _Jason_, once. In a romantic, teenage fantasy kind of way. The hurts in that relationship had seemed like the end of the world at the time; every one of his betrayals had stung her. But they had never left her with this deep, burning ache in her stomach. Every time she had said goodbye to the possibility of the young, good looking soldier she had felt sad for a while and then gotten on with things. Trying to get to Danny had helped keep her mind off it but Charlie knew it was more than that.

Jason had been her first real crush, her first relationship period. His death had nearly destroyed her, she realized that only when she had pulled herself away from the deep dark pit she had been hovering dangerously close to since the second she pulled the trigger. But this, this idiotic ache in her chest was completely different. And while time had begun to heal the wounds left by Jason, it only seemed to make the hurt grow stronger in this situation.

A pained gasp escaped her as another flash of Monroe and her mom together decided to torment her.

"Charlie? You okay?" At first she figured she had imagined his voice, all soft and sounding like he would actually give a crap if she _wasn't _okay. But when she looked up there he was, watching her with what looked like genuine concern. Why, why did he have to do this? She hated him, even more now than ever before so _why _did locking eyes with him feel so damn good?

"Why were you so angry with me for sleeping with Connor?" Monroe flinched and a momentary hint of remorse softened her features as she stared at him.

"Why bring that up now Charlotte? Connor is gone." Oh, so they were back to 'Charlotte' were they?

She rose slowly, keeping her eyes locked on him. He didn't deserve any consideration of his feelings. His son had tried to kill him yes, but he was instrumental in someone else's kid having the urge to kill them so he'd just have to suck it up.

"Answer the question Monroe. Why?" The flash of anger in his eyes only riled her up more. He was General and President of _nothing _now and he had no power over her ability to question him.

In a split second he was in front of her, their toes almost touching. "Don't pretend you're a stupid kid Charlie, you know why." She could feel his breath on her face, those shocking blue eyes boring into her as if trying to force their way inside of her and learn all her darkest thoughts and secrets.

"Don't talk to me that way." She ignored the churning in her stomach. "If I knew why I wouldn't have bothered asking would I?" There was pure venom in her tone. She knew that she was lashing out and by the look on his face he had no idea why - but it felt good and suddenly hurting him seemed like the best idea she had ever come up with. "What's the matter _General? _Are you afraid to answer a stupid little girls question?"

Monroe stepped back from her and she felt the loss immediately. He didn't even look angry anymore, he just looked defeated. Utterly devoid of the energy to even argue with her. Charlie felt her chest constrict painfully. It was frightening how quickly her mood changed to match his. Monroe didn't just back down, he always had an answer for everything - it was his most irritating quality - but now he was just quiet, looking at her as though he'd never seen her before. Charlie instantly wanted to take it back and pretend she had never opened her mouth. It was just another reason to hate him - the fact that she could read him so well and _see _that he didn't have the strength to deal with her anger right now. He was the strongest man she knew, he didn't have the right to be weak in this moment.

"What's going on between you and my mom?" She asked him quietly, fighting to keep her voice as neutral as possible, afraid of any hint of hurt coming across to him. She failed spectacularly.

The bastard had the cheek to look totally confused. "What the hell are you talking about? There's nothing goi-"

"I saw you!" Charlie saw him pale immediately. _'I swear to God if he asks 'which time' or something I'll kill him.' _All of a sudden he wouldn't look at her. "I saw you kissing her... you know, when Miles was slowly dying and you were supposed to be looking for him!" Her voice had risen significantly as the anger had seeped into it.

Monroe was still refusing to meet her hard stare, but managed to snap, "Keep your goddamned voice down!" Oh, so Miles definitely didn't know.

"Fuck you Monroe." She turned to walk away from him and was yanked backwards. His eyes were once again meeting hers as she crashed against his chest and they were furious.

"That's right, fuck me. I'm the boogeyman after all... The monster, the sociopath..." Fingers were gripping her arms, hard enough to bruise. She tried to push at his chest but he didn't budge. "That's what you said, right Charlotte? Forget what your crazy bitch mother did, forget what your precious uncle Miles did - maybe they call him the Butcher of Baltimore cause he's so fucking good with animals!" He looked half-crazed.

"Monroe stop! You're hurting me!" She looked up at him, helpless as he grinned at her then shoved her away from him. "Isn't that what monsters do Charlotte?"

"You've lost it!"

"No. I'm just sick of playing the bad guy for you and your family. If you want to know what happened with your mom, go and fucking ask her." The fight seemed to slip out of him again as he spoke. Looked like she wasn't the only one finding it hard to keep a lid on their emotions tonight.

"I just want the truth, that's all. Are you sleeping with her?" Any sense of awkwardness or embarrassment quickly passed when he looked at her again. It was painfully obvious the moment he realized what was wrong with her. The surprise was evident all over his face.

"You think I'm banging Rachel?" His amused, cocky smile took her off-guard and she very nearly smiled back. " No, Charlie, I'm not. I'd rather fuck a hedgehog with herpes than go near that bitch again."

"Again?" There was a squeak in her voice, half hope - half disgust; she didn't know whether to kick him or kiss him. He wasn't sleeping with her mom... sounded disgusted at the idea of it. It was the 'again' she wasn't so sure that she wanted to hear about and she was tempted to run now before he could answer her.

But Monroe had grasped enough of the situation to work out for himself what was going through her head. "It was one time, in Philly, a long time ago. What happened when Miles was... it wasn't what it looked like. She pushed the issue, accused me of forcing her so I showed her what force felt like. It was a stupid thing to do. I was angry and worried about Miles... There's nothing going on between me and your mom, okay?"

Relief is another powerful emotion. Charlie felt her knees nearly buckle as the wave of it hit her. If Monroe was telling her the truth - and of course he was, _he _never lied to her, even when he probably should - the world had righted itself with just a few quietly spoken, explanatory words from him. Sure, she was still pissed about the whole thing and okay, insanely jealous if she were being honest with herself... but compared with what she had been imagining...

The touch of his hand on her arm snapped her back out of her head and into the current moment. As their eyes met she saw the defeated slump was gone from them, as was the crazed anger. He looked like himself again and there was no chance she was going to be able to look away. "I'm guessing you think that my feelings about you and _him_ had something to do with your mother..."

The distaste in his voice when he spoke about his son to her was something she was unprepared for. Charlie had never heard him speak badly, to or about Connor. Monroe smiled knowingly as her eyes widened slightly. "And I'm guessing..." he slowly trailed his fingers up her bare arm, sending a jolt of heat to her center. "...that you finally know what it felt like."

His arrogant assumption would have earned him a slap - if he hadn't been dead right. Charlie could only stare in mild disbelief as his hand finally reached her face. With a gentleness that wasn't apparent in his feral gaze he cupped her cheek.

She stood dumbstruck and breathless with need, her arms hanging limply at her sides as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her neck, just below her ear. The warmth of his breath coupled with the sensation of his beard touching off soft skin caused the cotton of her panties to cling against her body, soaking up the rapidly increasing dampness between her legs.

He kissed her neck again, drawing a soft moan from her throat. She raised her hands to his chest, either in preparation to push him away or yank him closer to her - she wasn't quite sure and her brain was too fuzzy to help her figure it out.

In the end it didn't really matter because the moment his tongue sneaked out to taste her skin his open jacket became her lifeline. Her fingers gripped hold of the leather as he finally raised his head to kiss her mouth. It was slow, achingly slow. His mouth was surprisingly soft, she noticed, as it worked hers like that's what it had been created for.

Monroe was now holding her face as if it was made of the most fragile glass. Charlie raised up on her tiptoes, holding onto him as though her life depended on it while his lips slanted over hers. The pressure was too much and not even close to enough all at once. She needed more of him - needed _all _of him. Tentatively, she slid her tongue across his, pulling a deep groan from his chest. The sound made her feel braver so she did it again, withdrawing before his own tongue could tangle properly with hers.

"Charlie... Charlotte..." Hearing her name whispered into her mouth with such _want... _such need... it broke through the very last wall of defense she'd built inside herself to keep him out. He was in this, with her. He wanted her too.

The kiss became more aggressive after that, a battle for dominance that she was only too happy to let him win if it meant he was going to keep kissing her like she was the only woman he had ever wanted.

Charlie would forever be ashamed of the wanton growl that escaped her when he abruptly pulled back. Monroe's trademark I'm An Asshole smirk was in place as she pouted (yes, _pouted_) at him, but his eyes were heavy with desire and longing so she didn't immediately stamp on his foot - even though the urge was definitely there.

"Someone's coming."

They looked at each other for a moment as the sound of at least two pairs of feet got closer. Their eyes were doing all the talking. _Come on Matheson, don't back out now, follow this through. I dare you. _She raised an eyebrow, _Oh, game on Monroe. _Before whoever was approaching came upon them the decision was silently made. Monroe grabbed her hand and together they slid around the side of the house.

After a few heavy seconds all went quiet and the sound of Aaron's voice permeated the silence around them.

"Did you see that? There was somebody here a second ago..."

"Well they're not here now." Came a low, sultry reply. "Why don't you forget about it and take me upstairs?"

Charlie glanced at a highly amused looking Monroe and felt a smile twitch at her own lips. Priscilla's attempt at a seductive voice brought up the urge to giggle like she was a child again, when anything remotely sexual was just downright hilarious. As the front door opened and closed again quickly though, the amusement faded rapidly.

Between getting to their hiding spot and listening in on Aaron and Priscilla, Charlie had somehow maneuvered Monroe against the side of the house and was currently leaning in to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Looking down, she saw that they were still holding hands.

Something must have registered on her face - because his free hand cupped her cheek again, tilting her face to make her look up at him. "Charlie, we don't have to do this, not if you're not ready for it."

She blinked up at him, ready? Monroe caught the confusion on her face. "I'm not my son Charlotte, or any other man you've known. I won't settle for just one part of you. So if you're not ready for it-"

She cut him off by claiming his lips in a searing kiss. Breathing hard against them, she answered, "I'm ready Bass."

No further words were needed.

Their mouths crashed together in a fiery kiss. Charlie moaned, louder than she had intended as she pressed against him and felt his throbbing erection press right back as if trying to get to her of its own free will. Her tongue ran along his bottom lip as she quickly undid his pants and shoved them down over his thighs, letting his dick spring forth. Monroe was panting hard into her as she ghosted her hand across his throbbing hardness. Her fingers gripped him, deliberately just a little too lightly. He responded by grabbing her ass roughly and spinning their bodies so that she was backed into the wall.

Before she could react her arms were pinned above her head, one of his big hands holding her wrists in place. The other hand was quickly getting her trousers undone and yanked down her legs so she could kick them off. He rubbed a single finger along her opening, through her now drenched panties and she bucked against him. Charlie's eyes flashed to his and he grinned wickedly at her. The message in his eyes was clear: _two can play at this game. _

Never one to back down from a challenge - especially one issued by Sebastian Monroe - Charlie grinned right back at him. _Fine by me. _

In one fluid move, she jumped. With her arms still pinned above her head she threw her legs up around his waist, pulling his body flush against hers, his arousal pressed hard against her now soaking panties. The harsh choking noise he made at the contact sent a thrill of satisfaction through her.

"Charlotte..." Not to be outdone, he finally let go of her wrists to rip the fragile material of her underwear away from her skin. Charlie clung to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his neck. Monroe thrust his hips into her, sliding his dick against her, coating it in his juices, groaning aloud. Charlie wriggled against him, trying to impale herself on him, sheer need for him overcoming her. If he had any plans on continuing to torture her they abruptly changed when she bit down on his neck. With a desperate groan, he quickly positioned his dick and slid up into her.

"Fuck. Charlotte."

"Bass." She breathed his name into his ear, not quite believing that this was really happening, that he was filling her so completely and sending feelings she hadn't known herself capable of straight to the heat between her legs.

At the sound of his name, his hand fisted in her hair and pulled her mouth to his possessively. She greedily kissed him back as he buried himself to the hilt inside her over and over.

The distinct sounds of two people passionately making love filled the air around Charlie. Absently she wondered if they were being too loud, but before she could dwell on the thought too much his cock had filled her on another deep thrust and everything except him disappeared from her mind.

This had never felt so good before. She had surrendered herself to him totally and in return her was holding nothing back from her, clinging just as hard as she was to this connection they had both fought against so hard, but had ultimately failed to ignore. It wasn't just the fact that he was fucking her with total abandon and knew exactly where to angle himself in order to make her tremble with pleasure. Or the way he was kissing her - as if he was coaxing an orgasm out of her mouth as well as parts south of it; it was that it was _him _doing this to her. It was better than she had ever imagined. And she had spent a lot of time imagining it.

She could feel the tightening in her stomach as she squeezed his dick inside her, so close to exploding... Their kiss broke as her head fell back, mouth falling open as he steadily brought her to her peak.

"Charlie... Look at me."

Beautiful blue eyes met hers as their gazes locked, a million emotions passing between them. And she exploded a split second before he did. As sharp pulses of pleasure reverberated through her entire body, he rammed into her one last time before following her over the edge and spurting his hot seed deep into her.

Charlie had never let a man finish inside her before, had thought she would be disgusted by the act - turned out it was the sexiest thing she'd ever experienced. She could feel his dick twitch and pulsate deep within her, his warm come heating her inside. He slipped out of her and their combined fluids ran out to coat her sensitive vulva.

Once her feet hit the ground again reality also hit her. She'd just screwed Monroe. Right up against the home she shared with Miles and her Mom. And everything about it had been amazing. Their foreheads rested together, their breaths shallow and uneven.

"That was..." She muttered.

"Incredible, amazing.. and just the beginning Charlie." The smile on her face seemed to take his breath away.

"You're so arrogant."

"You like that about me." Was his cocky response.

"Sure I do." She laughed quietly, the sleepiness that only the well-fucked ever experience washing over her for the first time ever. "I think I'd like to lay down more though."

Monroe's grip on her tightening noticeably. " Come home with me."

Charlie sighed, something that felt dangerously close to happiness filling her at his simple request.

They walked hand in hand to the small house Monroe had been staying in since they settled in the small town just next to Willoughby. He'd never seemed the domestic type to her and a part of her was dying to explore his home, see for herself how he lived, but her tired body was calling out for a bed.

As usual, Monroe had guessed what she needed before she did. He led her straight upstairs and into his room. The easy way he led her inside, opening up his private space to her, felt even more intimate than what they had just done together.

Silently, they both undressed, eyes on each other. The intense bond they shared had been in no way diminished by the act of surrendering to it. If anything it felt stronger - more solid and less ethereal.

She watched as he got naked in front of her, a sight he'd managed to keep her deprived of all this time. Running her gaze over his chest and down to even more glorious parts of him, she decided that his withholding of the sight before her was just about the most cruel thing he had ever done. The hungry glint in his eyes when he returned the look told her that he was thinking along the same lines about her.

His bed was neatly made up, something that seemed very un-Monroe-like. Charlie caught herself wondering indignantly if a woman had been in here before her, in this room, fixing this bed. His bed.

"Charlotte... stop thinking and come here."

She crawled in beside him, immediately settling into his open arms and any concerns floated away.

The last thing she remembered before sleep pulled her in was a feeling of absolute comfort and security and the soft kiss he laid on her forehead.

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><p><em>There's somethin' in the air. And it ain't love. <em>

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In the weeks after that first night, Charlie and Monroe became inseparable. Since neither of them particularly wanted to lose his dick they kept their blossoming relationship to themselves.

Bass had a theory that if they eased Miles into it, let him get used to them being friends before revealing that they were together, then he might take the news better. May even be happy about it.

Charlie had a theory that Bass was an idiot.

But since he was a sexy as all hell idiot, who was really, _really_ good with his hands, she let it go.

Besides, Miles hadn't batted an eyelid when she'd started spending more time at Bass' house than at her own. And when his best friend had casually mentioned that Charlie was welcome to move in with him if things were too much for her at home - what with Rachel being her usual bitch self, though he kept that part to himself - Miles had actually _thanked _him for looking out for her.

Of course, Charlie had a theory that Miles was an idiot as well.

In the end though, it was Rachel they should have been worrying about...

All of Charlie's belongings were now kept in what Bass referred to as 'their house'. She rarely even visited her mom and Miles' home to keep up the pretense anymore. Instead her uncle would escape to spend time with them whenever he could and tended to bring Aaron along with him most nights. The laughter and relaxed friendliness of those nights when they all got together were something that soothed both Charlie and Bass, although it was difficult to remember to keep their hands off each other. They somehow managed to pull off the pretense that they were only friends.

And the occasional slip up went seemingly unnoticed; accidentally sitting too close together, lingering looks, Bass forgetting himself and throwing an arm around her to pull her closer when she was next to him as he usually did when she was anywhere near him... All in all, they felt they were getting away with it so far.

So the night when it all fell apart took them both by complete surprise. They'd been sleeping together for 7 months now and pretending to be just housemates for 5, yet they were still nuts about each other. All evening they had been exchanging heated glances out of Miles' eye-shot and once he was drunk enough to face going home to listen to Rachel, they were both ready to explode. The second the door had banged shut the couple attacked each other.

Bass caught Charlie in his arms just in time as she launched herself at him. With a satisfied chuckle, he kissed her hard. "Let's move somewhere far enough that Miles can only visit occasionally." He laughed at her, walking to the small kitchen and sitting her on the table while staying right between her legs. According to him it was his new favorite place to be. "Yeah but then when he did come visit he'd stay for days and you'd have to sleep alone in the room we'd have to pretend is your bedroom."

She grinned as he began kissing a trail along her throat, tangling her fingers in his hair. As much as she loved her Uncle Miles, she'd have him banned from the house within a week if that happened.

"Or, you know, we could just tell him." Charlie felt him freeze against her and frowned. "Or... not..." He shifted, pulling her closer and kissing her hard.

How the hell could he begin to explain to her the terror that overtook him when he contemplated what would happen if everyone found out about them? There were rumors all over town about them already, it was hard for people not to notice how close the two of them were. They even worked in the same bar for Christ-sake! Bass knew that her family probably had their suspicions about what was happening between them, but as only a Matheson could they were pointedly ignoring the evidence in front of them. Which meant if Charlie and Bass confirmed that the rumor mill had gotten it right, they'd probably go crazy.

He knew what that would mean for him. Her family would make her choose, that's if they didn't just make the decision for her and kill him. And there was no way she'd choose him, which he was absolutely selfish enough to want from her.

Being with Charlie had been the best his life had been for so many years now. If he lost her now what would become of him? More and more he was changing back into the man he'd been before the darkness had swallowed him whole. And he liked it. Even more importantly, he loved her for it. That she had brought him a happiness he never thought he'd find meant more to him than he'd ever be able to explain to her. If they came clean to everyone then that happiness would be quickly ripped away and Bass wasn't all that sure he was strong enough to live with it.

But he couldn't bring himself to regret the decision he had made that night all those months ago. Making his feelings clear to her, kissing her like that had been a gut reaction to her obvious heartbreak over him. He would never regret it. And if this thing between them ended right this second - nothing would ever change that.

But fuck did he want to keep her. He'd want nothing else for the rest of his life if he could just have her, with him, loving him back, looking at him the way she always did now, as though he was something special - not the battered carcass of a man whose soul had long been obliterated; but just a man who had developed the ability to make the prettiest girl he knew smile despite all of her reasons not to.

He didn't honestly know if he had the strength to survive losing that. If she left him, would he be able to pick up the pieces and continue being the better man he had become for her? Or would he sink back into the darkness that consumed him when he lost Miles, ending up cruel and unbalanced, desperate only to bring his best friend back to him? Bass liked to think that for Charlie he could be better than that, but the uncertainty was killing him. When he lost Miles he had also lost what remained of his sanity. If he lost Charlotte he would lose the very last part of him that could be accused of kindness, decency... The parts of him that his relationship with her was slowly rebuilding inside of him.

As he pressed his lips firmly against hers the same urgent, desperate need that always overtook the more rational side of his brain whenever he thought about losing her took control once more. The desire to claim her in the most primal, animal way.

The sudden switch in his mood did not go unnoticed by his girlfriend. It had happened before. Depending on what kind of day they'd both had their lovemaking tended to vary between hard and passionate, soft and gentle, slow and sensual and what he so badly needed right now - raw and wild. And his girl could tell that from his kiss it seemed, because he felt himself be pushed backwards - just enough to give her room to slip off the edge of the table and fall to her knees in front of him.

Bass watched, hunger filling him as she slid his zipper down, eyes locked on his. A low groan rumbled in his chest as she slowly pulled out his already half-hard dick and took him into her soft warm mouth. The desire and need in her eyes must have mirrored his own. Immediately his breath hitched. With just a few short seconds of her tongue swirling around him he was rock hard. Charlie was thoroughly sucking him off as his fingers wound into her hair, gripping probably just a little bit too hard, but her muffled wanton groan not only sent shockwaves of pleasure into his balls, it also reminded him of just how much she enjoyed when he took control during sex. If she kept going much longer he was going to erupt but the beast roaring in his chest wanted more, it wanted to be as far as he possibly could inside of her when he did.

Pulling her head back, he dragged her up to him with a loud growl. Crashing his mouth to hers, dominating her mouth in a way that ensured no one else would ever be able to kiss her satisfactorily ever again. Just as quickly, he tore his lips away, leaving her gasping for air. With a wicked grin he spun her around, pushing her over the table. Her hips rose to assist him in relieving her of her pants. He paused only long enough to check that she was ready for him before slamming into her from behind. The pace was punishing and intense and everything he needed right now. Charlie was crying out below him, gripping the edge of the table, pushing her ass back into him, trying to pull him in as deep as possible. Being inside of her was the most exhilarating experience he'd ever had, no matter how many times he had her. This time was no different.

"Bass!" Charlie's orgasm hit him like a freight train. Her inner walls squeezed him impossibly tight as she fell apart underneath him. It pulled him over the edge and he came with a roar, ramming into her one final time before finally erupting.

He collapsed against her back, still inside her. Began laying gentle kisses on her back, guilt ebbing into his relaxed and sated mindset.

"Charlie..." He mumbled against her soft skin. "Charlie..."

She shifted below him and he pulled out of her sadly. His body raised on his arms just enough to allow her to turn below him.

As he stared down at the beautiful woman she had become he felt his heart swell. Bass leaned down to kiss her softly, silently apologizing for being so rough with her.

Charlie's hands cupped his face. "It's okay," she breathed against his lips, "It's alright." Bass wasn't aware that he had started shaking until now. Too many emotions were swirling through him, too fast for him to keep up with in this moment. A ton of times, he had been accused of feeling nothing, but the truth was, had always been, that Sebastian Monroe felt too much. He could never turn off his emotions like Miles could, instead he got lost in them. Finding a balance for all the things inside him was a struggle, something he had to work at every day - but Charlie had broken through every barrier he'd ever tried to build.

So, instead of fighting against the tide of emotion and trying to bury it, he simply gave into it - handing it all over into her gentle hands.

Bass held her to him, relishing her touch. He was so consumed in the moment he barely heard her uttered words when she spoke to him.

"I love you."

Their eyes locked.

"Say that again."

"I love you, Bass."

Charlie had shown it so many times, especially recently, but she had never said the words before.

And just like that, Bass was okay. "I love you Charlotte. I love you."

He was so busy kissing her that he failed to react in time as the back door crashed open.

Fumbling quickly to get his pants up and stay between Charlie and whatever had just interrupted them, Bass almost landed right back on top of her as a flash of blonde attacked him.

Fury and fear were equally matched in him as he grabbed at Rachel's arms attempting to stop the onslaught.

"You sick son of a bitch! You evil psycho!"

Bass blinked in astonishment as Rachel was suddenly hauled off of him and slammed up against their kitchen wall by an irate Charlie. "Mom stop!"

Rachel froze, glaring at her daughter.

"You do not touch him." Charlie practically hissed at her.

He could barely enjoy the moment of watching Charlotte defend him when Rachel had shot back venomously, "You do not _screw_ him! What is wrong with you Charlie? After everything he did to you... to our family..."

Charlie, gripping her mom by her arms, pulled her forward only to slam her right back into the wall again. "Why not? He did worse to you and you still fucked him! But that's you isn't it mom? You can do it but I'm scum if I do the same thing, right?"

Just then, Bass made the mistake of pulling Charlie back. He hadn't wanted her to do something to her mother that she would only regret. But he hadn't been counting on how much of a bitch Rachel Matheson was. The second her arms were freed she lashed out, smacking Charlie across the face.

His blood hit boiling point. Gently moving Charlie out of the way, it took him half a second to become the one pinning Rachel to the wall. Only his hands had bypassed her arms and gone straight for her throat. His fingers were tightening, he caught the suddenly panicked look in her eyes. But she'd hurt Charlie and in the blind haze of rage all his intent was focused on one thing: ending the bitch.

"Bass. Bass, stop. Please." Came a voice at his shoulder. He felt a small hand pull at his wrists and immediately let go, horrified at himself.

What he expected now from Charlie was anger at him for attacking her mom like that. What he got was an armful of her instead. Her arms wrapped around his waist as her face found his neck. "It's okay, breathe Bass."

His arms crushed her to him. Looking over the top of her head he saw Rachel's hateful stare on the both of them and it hit him suddenly - this relationship didn't just endanger him, Rachel's hatred was seeping past him and into her daughter. The idea of her leaving him was bad enough, but her being _hurt _because of him... No. Just... No.

"Charlie, he's a monster. You just saw for yourself what he's capable of." She shot at her daughter.

"No mom. All I saw was him protecting me. Being provoked, by you. As usual."

"When Miles finds out about this..." Here her angry gaze turned to him, triumph shining through as he visibly winced. "He'll kill you."

"No he won't." Charlie replied for him, the same stubborn glint in her eyes that she always wore in a fight of any kind. "Miles won't touch him unless he wants to lose me. And neither will you mom." Bass could only watch as Charlie pulled away from him to face her mother. "I mean it. For the first time in so long...I'm happy. He makes me happy. And if you try to take him from me I will _never _forgive you."

Before Rachel could respond her daughter continued, "Save your crap. I've been beating myself up over him for over a year. And you know what I figured out? He's just as innocent or guilty as you or Miles. If you deserve my forgiveness then so does he."

"He killed Danny!"

Charlie flinched. Anger successfully roused again at the hurt look on her face, he took a step forward. She reached out a hand to his chest to stop him and he stilled, eying her warily.

"We're all responsible for Danny's death. He sent choppers after the rebel camp we were at. You let Danny fight. I let him fight. And then we were both too busy with Miles to notice what he was doing. Danny chose to fight, Bass didn't put that rocket launcher in his hands."

This time it was Rachel who flinched. After a long moment of staring at Charlie, she lifted her gaze to him. "I won't let you poison my daughter against me. I won't let you take her from me like you did my son!"

"I didn't poison your daughter, Rachel, you did that all by yourself." He couldn't keep the low menace out of his tone, nor the malicious gleam out of his eyes. Finally, Rachel Matheson was getting what she deserved. In spite of the situation, for a second he felt good. "Now get out of our house. If your daughter wants to speak to you she'll let you know. Until then, stay the hell away."

Charlie, at his side, said nothing. Rachel just stood there, staring at her daughter. But Bass was on a roll; Charlie had been caught, with him, literally with her pants down - yet she had stood with him, for him. It gave him the confidence to march forward and yank Rachel by the arm, dragging her out of his house. "And Rachel..." he murmured in her ear, "If you _ever _touch Charlotte again I will kill you." The bitch glared hatefully as he shoved her away from him and slammed the door in her face.

Inside, he immediately pulled Charlie into his arms. She sank against him, clinging to his back. From the way she was trembling he was certain there were tears. But he knew better than to comment on it.

That blonde bitch wasn't gonna stop, he realized as he waited for his girlfriend to calm down. As soon as Miles awakened from his drunken slumber she would be in his ear. She'd be over there now, trying to kick him awake. Fortunately, Miles, once in a drunken coma, would not open his eyes if a bomb went off next to him - Bass had seen it happen. So they had some time to prepare.

He didn't want to lose his brother - never again. But he was not about to lose the only woman to mean anything to him for so many lonely years. Hopefully his brother would understand, but honestly, all his hope that Miles would be okay about it was draining slowly away now that his finding out about them was a reality, instead of just playful pillow talk between him and Charlie.

"Stop brooding. I love you. It's none of their business."

Charlie Matheson was all harsh truths and annoying logic, but sometimes, just sometimes, the words she shot at him were exactly the ones he _wanted _to hear instead of just needed.

As she lifted her head up to look at him, her eyes were once again dry. As his lips pressed into hers he knew exactly what to do.

At noon the next day, Miles was finally roused by an irate Rachel. He made his way over to finally put a bullet in his best friend, possibly his niece as well, he still hadn't decided. By the time he arrived at the quiet house though, he realized he didn't have to decide - they were already gone.

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...

_Every once in a while, I remember something I did when I was a child. Or something that was done to me, by my father, or my brother, or a cousin. Some injury. Some humiliation. And it seems like... it happened to another person, a century or two ago. I'm not really sure if what I remember really took place at all. You can't build your life, relying on the perception of a little kid, or the echos of some memory. Nah. You got to let all that shit go. You gotta start, fresh. Every single day. You have got to start again._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

Two years. Two long-ass damn years. Pair of idiots. Miles stood outside a small church in Oklahoma with Aaron Pitman panting beside him. Two goddamn years.

They'd hidden their tracks well. Miles had taken off only a few days behind them. Of course there had been delays he couldn't help; those two were near impossible to find when they didn't want to be, he and Aaron had been called to Bradbury to almost die finishing the Nano off for good - and worst of all - banning Rachel from the search party had caused more than a few arguments.

Strangely, it had been Aaron who'd gotten her to back off when she refused to listen to Miles anymore...

_"Charlie is MY daughter Miles. I have more right than anyone to go find her, you can't stop me!" He sighed heavily, when she pulled the Mother card on him there was never anything he could say unless he wanted to fall out with the woman he loved in a very permanent way. Fortunately Aaron was around to ease the situation. Not. _

_"Rachel, Charlie left because of you. If they wanted to come back they would have, but they didn't. Which tells me that she still doesn't want to see you. If we show up with you they're just gonna bail."_

_"Not if I kill Bass before he can take my daughter away again!" Was the bitter response. Miles sank back to the log he'd been occupying when she'd first stormed up to him. _

_"She's been with him for over a year now, do you think if we show up and kill him she'll just come right on home with us after?" Aaron looked mortified, as he always did when all attention was on him. It mixed paradoxically with the anger in his eyes. "She'll hate us. I saw the way they looked at each other for months, it was obvious how they felt. We're not going to find them to try split them up. Even if we tried we'd fail. They both left MILES so they could be together! Doesn't that tell you how serious they are?!" _

_Miles turned to stare at the fire, inwardly wincing. Aaron had hit on his sore spot. He'd always been the one to run out. On Bass. On Charlie and her dad. Even Rachel. Nora. All those times, every one he cared about, he'd always been the one to leave. And though he'd felt guilty, he had never really understood just how shitty it felt to be the one left behind. Now the two people who were arguably the most important people in his life, had left him. He was the one who had received no goodbye, no explanation. There was no denying that it sucked. _

_He couldn't even be angry with them, not really. When Rachel had tearfully told him she'd caught Bass with Charlie his first reaction had been to tear Bass' head off. For weeks beforehand he'd had an inkling that something was going on with them, but hearing it out loud from his tearful girlfriend had still been a shock to the system. But considering that neither of them had been happier than he'd seen them those months, how could he stop them? _

_Things had gone quiet across from him. Rachel and Aaron had taken to glaring at each other, neither saying a word. It was time for him to step back in. "Aaron's right." He got up, half-expecting her to launch herself at him. He shrugged, hands spread wide. "I don't like it anymore than you do, but they made their choice. If we show up guns blazing we'll just push them further away." _

_"I'll push him right off a cliff!" Rachel burst out while Aaron rolled his eyes. _

_"Listen to yourself." He snapped at her. "You left that girl years ago, you have no right to demand she live her life whatever way YOU choose!" Aaron had truly lost his temper now. Miles fought the urge to tell him to shut up, she needed to hear this and at least this way, it didn't have to come from him. "For whatever reason, she obviously chose to be with Monroe. And he chose to be with her. They even left, so that you couldn't interfere." _

_That piqued his interest. "Aaron, did they talk to you before they left?" _

_"No they didn't. But I didn't have to be a genius to work it out for myself." He turned back to Rachel. "I practically raised that girl, I know her better than you ever will. She deserves happiness more than all of us put together and if you even try to ruin it for her I will kill you myself. If Monroe doesn't get there first, because like it or not he loves her. You should be happy for her, but instead you're letting your hatred for him cost you another child!"  
><em>

Miles blinked, wiping away the memory of that night. After a few hurt looks from Rachel she had finally backed off and agreed to wait behind. The next day they had taken off again and eventually had ended up here.

"So... Church huh? You think they found religion?" Aaron piped up beside him. Miles shot him a look. "Are you sure that old lady was telling the truth? She looked pretty suspect to me. I mean, why would they use their real names?"

Miles chuckled, over time Aaron's little quirks and phobias had brought him no end of amusement. The best yet had been the discovery that Aaron and dear old ladies just did not mix. It was like someone who was afraid of cats, they just looked evil to him, something not to be turned away from in case he found their claws in his back.

"They have no reason not to use their real names, not anymore."

"So what do we do? Burst in there and stop the wedding? I always wanted to do that.." Aaron rambled on while Miles watched the closed doors of the little church. The old lady had recognized their names immediately. And had described them as a lovely young couple who were currently at the church for "the ceremony" which she was missing out on because there were some last minute things to organize for the "party". He was almost afraid of what he would see when those doors opened. Trust his luck to have him arriving back in their lives on their _wedding day. _He honestly didn't know whether to be happy for them or be angry that they didn't wait for him to find them first. How could he miss his best friend's wedding? His niece's wedding? It wasn't right. None of it.

Miles took a step forward, intent on marching in there, punching his best friend, hugging his niece, and then insisting that they start all over again. But the doors opened. He watched in astonishment as Charlie walked out, her arm slung around the waist of a dark haired man, one who was definitely _not _Bass, with the biggest, happiest smile he had ever seen on her face.

"What the hell?!" They both stood watching, shocked. Miles' eyes ran over Charlie, taking her in. She looked beautiful, wearing a simple white dress, the first he'd seen her in since she was a child (the awful night at Drexel's didn't count, not to him.). Her hair was tumbling around her shoulders, along with the arm of the not-Bass asshole. Was he getting defensive on his brother's behalf?

"Is that..._Connor?_" Aaron breathed out beside him.

His eyes flicked to the grinning man next to Charlie. "What the hell?" he said again.

Before he could repeat himself again, Bass appeared from behind them, holding what looked very much like a baby.

His jaw dropped. Aaron made some kind of strangled noise, but Miles' attention was all for the people in front of him. Others had begun spilling out of the church around them, smiling happily.

Bass' grin was proud, happy. As he came to a stop next to Charlie it only widened. He leaned over to kiss her. And didn't appear to want to stop. Connor pulled a disgusted face and moved to take the baby from his dad, momentarily interrupting them. The second Bass' arms were free they wound their way around Charlie, pulling her against him. When they eventually parted for air her smile was breathtaking.

Until she looked across and Miles locked eyes with her. He felt like an asshole as that lovely smile froze on her face. He moved his eyes to see Bass frown and follow her gaze, shock registering in his expression.

And then Charlie was moving. Down the steps and across the road. Miles felt his mouth open and shut, trying to find words for her, but nothing came out. So as she drew close he went on instinct and opened his arms wide.

His instinct turned out to be correct because she barreled straight into his open arms. "Miles!"

Over her shoulder he saw Bass and Connor watching, not quite as pleased to see him. Bass nodded at his son and watched as Connor led the small group of people who'd exited the church away. Bass watched them go, exchanging smiles and a few handshakes. Then he approached, looking ready for a fight.

"Staypuft. Good to see you." He nodded at Aaron.

"Good to see you Monroe." Aaron replied, catching Charlie's attention properly. She gently untangled herself from her uncle to hug him.

"So, uh, baby?" Miles finally burst out.

Two hours later, Miles and Aaron found themselves in some kind of community dance hall surrounded by friends neighbors of Charlie and the Monroe's.

As he watched his brother stick to Charlie like glue, Miles felt a swell of emotion choke him. They were both beaming, moving from group to group, chatting happily with everyone, looking totally at ease.

Connor approached, holding the baby. Little Angie. Miles immediately took her from him. He couldn't get over how tiny and how beautiful she was. The image of her mother, with her father's unruly curls. Her little fingers reached for his face as her eyes focused on him and he gave a lopsided grin. Miles had fallen in love with his niece the moment he saw her - his great-niece was no different.

"Who knew all it took to make the great Miles Matheson go soft was a baby girl?" Connor smirked at him.

Miles glared, but it was Aaron who responded, "Yeah, because you haven't been hogging her all day or anything.. You won't let anyone near her."

Connor shrugged, chuckling, "She is my little sister. Just looking out for her. Besides," he looked over at Bass and Charlie, "they worry about her like, all the time. They only relax if she's with them or me."

Miles could understand that. Given everything they had lost he supposed it was natural they'd be constantly afraid their daughter would be taken from them next.

"So how did you end up with them?" Angie had started to fuss, so he rocked her gently, uncaring of the amused looks coming his direction.

"I ran into my dad and Charlie near New Vegas. Neville went crazy so I ditched him. Was thinking of finding my way to Mexico when I ran into them. Dad and I built some bridges while we were moving around and by the time we settled here I decided to stay." Miles nodded at him, pleased that Bass had both his children with him. Although he still had every intention of giving Bass a black eye for stealing his niece in the first place.

They were interrupted as Charlie and Bass had finally made their way to them. "She's a beauty, kid. Just like her mother." Charlie smiled at him, the open affection on her face was something he had desperately missed.

"She really is." Aaron agreed with him. "And quite the surprise. We thought we were crashing your wedding. Guess we were too late." Miles smirked at the disappointment coloring his voice.

Nobody missed the sudden look Charlie and Bass exchanged.

"We're not married." Bass told them.

"Hang on, you knock my niece up but you don't have the decency to marry her?!" He was furious. "Aaron, take the baby."

Charlie stepped in front of Bass as Miles handed the baby off. "Hey, first of all, I don't need someone to marry me just cause they 'knocked me up' And second - we're engaged. It just didn't feel right to have a wedding without, you know... without..."

"You. You dick. Charlie didn't wanna do it without her family. And I didn't want to do it without my brother. So we held off. We were going to come looking for you once Angie was a little older, give you a chance to be involved." His arms had wrapped around Charlie, who leaned back into him. It should have been weird, wrong, ridiculous. It _should _have. But instead it looked... well, right.

And the fact that they had waited for him, wouldn't do it without him - he felt the last of his anger drain away.

Miles stepped forward and embraced them both, pressing a kiss to the side of Charlie's head. Aaron and Connor looked on as the three people who were suddenly in varying degrees of tears held on to each other. They had their family back.

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* * *

><p>Charlie climbed into bed beside her husband with a wry smile. In the years since Miles had found them so much had changed. But the one thing that remained the same was the way she felt about Bass.<p>

During her Uncle and Aaron's unexpected visit they had finally tied the knot, cementing their relationship as one that would last a lifetime, no matter what happened. There had been jitters and last minute doubts (Miles) and tears (Aaron's mostly), but it would forever be the happiest day of her life. Even if her mom and Grandpa weren't there. Maybe _especially _because Rachel wasn't there.

When they first arrived the pair had planned on staying for a few days, but a few days had quickly turned into a few weeks. Miles promised he would do his best to get her mother to understand, but when only Aaron and Priscilla returned to settle nearby, nobody was surprised. Her uncle visited as often as he could. It wasn't nearly enough, for any of them, and Charlie hated to see him so torn. But she didn't want her mom anywhere near her happy family while she was still so against it.

Rachel was missing so much, through her own stubbornness and hypocritical view of the past. Her granddaughter was nearly 4 and also the brightest, most beautiful child Charlie had ever seen. She was a perfect mix of her parents - her daddy's charm and her mummy's attitude, a lethal combination. And Bass doted on her. So did Connor. Between them all they easily made up for the long list of absent people the little girl _should _have had around her. But still, she thought, laying in the quiet of the night, it would have been nice if Rachel had gotten over herself and realized the hurt she was still causing for her family by insisting on getting her own way.

Bass' soft voice cut through her thoughts, his arm snaking around her, pulling her across the bed and into his arms. "You look sad."

Charlie sighed as he pressed his face into her hair. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"My mom...Miles.." There was no mistaking the way his grip on her tightened. Even after all this time, she knew there were still moments where he waited for her to decide that picking him was a huge error that she wanted to fix.

Some wounds never fully heal, no matter how many years go by. She understood it, even as she hated it. There was nobody in the world now that she loved more than him. The only person who meant as much to her was their child. Charlie would never survive the loss of either of them. But the guilt he carried around with him was always going to be there. Finding a way to live with it had helped a lot, but she knew that some days were harder than others, especially when his past affected his family now.

"I wish I could make things right for you Charlotte." He mumbled against her hair.

She pulled back a little to look at him. "You made things right for me a long time ago. And you still do, every day. Every time you touch me, every time our daughter smiles at me, or learns something new. You make me happy, every day. I don't need anyone else." The words had been said a thousand times over the years, but she would keep saying them until he believed them.

"I love you Charlie." Bass kissed her, hard. She gave as good as she got, rolling over and pulling him on top of her. This was best, she thought as he worshiped her mouth, his body pressing down on hers, there was no better feeling in the world. She clung to him, handing over control as he slid inside her with a low groan. "I love you Bass, more than anything." Her words spurred him on and before long they had both reached their climax, falling over the edge together as if it was their first time.

Bass sprawled over her, panting as her hands rubbed lazy circles on his back. Warm contentment rushed over her. This life - one of a wife and mother, had never been what she would have imagined for herself - but, she realized as she felt soft kisses being pressed across her collarbone, was exactly the one she wanted.

"You know Angie's sleeping at Aaron's tonight don't you?" He made a small grunt of acknowledgement,slowly kissing his way back to her mouth. "And she demanded a sleepover at Connor's tomorrow... Aaron said he'd drop her off for us..." He paused as the implications of that information hit him.

"Ah, well, you know what that means, don't you Mrs Monroe?" His grin was as devilish as ever. "You're not leaving this bed for the next 24 hours. Let's see if we can't give our girl her other demand."

Charlie smiled up at him, her fingers getting lost in his hair. "She wants a baby brother by Christmas, so you'd better get to work Monroe."

"I'm surrounded by bossy women." He pretended to complain.

"You love it."

"I do, more than anything on this earth, I love you both."

"Sebastian Monroe may have just gone soft." She giggled, abruptly switching to a moan as he pressed his hips sharply into her, demonstrating just how soft he was _not. _

Contrary to their rough, competitive movements against each other, their lips met in a tender kiss, neither of them aware yet that Angie's much wanted little brother was already beginning to grow.

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...

_The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same. There's always a scar, which is meant, I guess, to remind you that even for a little while, someone made your heart beat faster. And that's a scar you can live with, proudly, all the days of your life._

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><p><strong>The End<br>**


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